Evolution_of_one_hour_of_exercise

The Evolution of One Hour of Exercise

Or, “How amnesia helps keep me in shape.”

Evolution_of_one_hour_of_exercise

9:00am

Alright! I’m outside and it feels great! I’m pumped! I’ve got my gear and my tunes and I’m READY!

9:05am

Man, I didn’t realize it was going to rain this morning. Boy am I glad I have this awesome gear to keep me warm!

9:07am

There’s a bit of a wind today, isn’t there? I’ll be turning around in 23 minutes, it’ll be at my back then.

9:12am

Okay, breathing’s getting a bit harder. But it feels great!

9:17am

Breathing is even harder. It doesn’t feel so good anymore. In fact, my lungs are burning.

9:20am

Has this hill always been this steep?! Or is this new? They’ve changed this park layout, right? Holy crap I’m sweating.

9:25am

How long have I been doing this? Maybe I should stop and drink some water.

9:29am

No, I can’t stop! It’s been almost half an hour, I can keep it up!

9:32am

Oh God every breath is agony!

9:35am

WHERE IS ALL THIS RAIN COMING FROM?

9:36am

Wait, the wind has changed! It’s in my face again!

9:38am

My sweat-soaked clothes are starting to freeze in this biting wind. My fingers are red and swollen. I can’t feel my face.

9:41am

How are my legs still moving? It’s like they have a will of their own and their objective is to DESTROY ME.

9:44am

NOT. BREATHING. LUNGS. ACHING. FOR. OXYGEN.

9:45am

Whose freaking bright freaking idea was this to freaking exercise in this weather? I hate this place. I hate this weather. I hate my legs. I hate my lungs.

9:47am

I hate my gear. It sucks. My feet hurt.

9:48am

I hate my tunes. They’re not distracting me from the pain!

9:50am

Is that my house? Am I home yet?

9:51am

NINE MORE MINUTES TO GO, NOOOOOO I CAN’T DO IT!!!

9:53am

How many croissants can I eat after having run this far?

9:55am

Breathing seems to be unnecessary for survival because apparently I’m still alive.

9:56am

Oh God I can smell my own sweat!

9:57am

Just a few… more… feet… home…

9:58am

That’s my door! I can see it!

9:59am

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…

9:59:59am

Just crawl up the front steps, woman, then you can collapse.

10:00am

I MADE IT!!!! *Collapse in a heap*

10:07am

Regain consciousness.

10:10am

Facebook status update: “Went for a run this morning. It felt great! Can’t wait to go again tomorrow!”

 

 

Jane

The Brain In Jane works mainly in the rain. It's always raining somewhere. Find me on Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

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