Or, “How amnesia helps keep me in shape.”
Alright! I’m outside and it feels great! I’m pumped! I’ve got my gear and my tunes and I’m READY!
Man, I didn’t realize it was going to rain this morning. Boy am I glad I have this awesome gear to keep me warm!
There’s a bit of a wind today, isn’t there? I’ll be turning around in 23 minutes, it’ll be at my back then.
Okay, breathing’s getting a bit harder. But it feels great!
Breathing is even harder. It doesn’t feel so good anymore. In fact, my lungs are burning.
Has this hill always been this steep?! Or is this new? They’ve changed this park layout, right? Holy crap I’m sweating.
How long have I been doing this? Maybe I should stop and drink some water.
No, I can’t stop! It’s been almost half an hour, I can keep it up!
Oh God every breath is agony!
WHERE IS ALL THIS RAIN COMING FROM?
Wait, the wind has changed! It’s in my face again!
My sweat-soaked clothes are starting to freeze in this biting wind. My fingers are red and swollen. I can’t feel my face.
How are my legs still moving? It’s like they have a will of their own and their objective is to DESTROY ME.
NOT. BREATHING. LUNGS. ACHING. FOR. OXYGEN.
Whose freaking bright freaking idea was this to freaking exercise in this weather? I hate this place. I hate this weather. I hate my legs. I hate my lungs.
I hate my gear. It sucks. My feet hurt.
I hate my tunes. They’re not distracting me from the pain!
Is that my house? Am I home yet?
NINE MORE MINUTES TO GO, NOOOOOO I CAN’T DO IT!!!
How many croissants can I eat after having run this far?
Breathing seems to be unnecessary for survival because apparently I’m still alive.
Oh God I can smell my own sweat!
Just a few… more… feet… home…
That’s my door! I can see it!
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right…
Just crawl up the front steps, woman, then you can collapse.
I MADE IT!!!! *Collapse in a heap*
Facebook status update: “Went for a run this morning. It felt great! Can’t wait to go again tomorrow!”